Blueprints:  Tear up Your “Should” List

As a working mom, I often get caught up in what I “should” be doing.  I’m constantly bombarded with images, tweets, posts and articles about what my life “should” look like.  I’m supposed to walk 10,000 steps; cook plant-based meals for my family; engage in meaningful date nights with my husband; have the perfect home; have a girls night every couple weeks and of course, close my rings on my Apple watch daily.  How many things “should” I really do?  On a daily basis, it’s super overwhelming.  Most days, I am paralyzed by what I “should” be doing rather than what I want to do.  The world tells us what our daily blueprint should look like.  But how far away is it from our God-given, internal blueprint.

I know if I asked any of my friends right now what they did today, they will rattle off a list of things they did that they didn’t enjoy.  Now while it’s true that we all have to work for a living and raise our kids, we do have free time/down time to do the things we want to do.  Most of us spend an enormous amount of time scrolling through social media.  If you ever selected the setting on your iPhone that shows you how many hours a week you spend on social media, you know what I mean.  It’s horrifying.  Some weeks, I average 6-7 hours a week scrolling through social media.  That’s insane.  A whole day of work.  But if you ask me why I don’t do the things I truly love, I will tell you I’m too busy and don’t have any time.

I spend a lot of time doing things I “should” be doing.  For me, it’s cooking (not my favorite task), trying to solve the world’s problems (the plight of an empath…!), obsessing about my weight and spending way too many hours worrying about my angst-ridden son.

Recently, I read Glennon Doyle’s new book “Untamed.”  Women around the world are rejoicing about this book.  I was slow to jump on the bandwagon but finally sat down to read it in my garden last weekend.  I don’t love the book as much as others do.  However,  Glennon talks a lot about the “memos” we receive in our lives—all the things we “should” do.  And then she beautifully reminds us of our God-given blueprints.  The one that is only reserved for us:

“She dreamed up what it would look like to have her specific version of truth and beauty come to life. She looked for the blueprint she’d been born with, the one she’d forgotten existed. She unearthed her unseen order: her original plan.”

What is your original plan?  Did you know you even had one?  We live in a society that doesn’t honor our original plans and instead forces other’s plans on our daily lives.  This sentiment made me pause and think about my original plan.  And boy does it look different that my daily life.

I did what Glennon told me to do.  I wrote down my original blueprint.  The one that was given only to me.  Here’s what it looked like:

I was put on this earth to:

  • help people realize the best versions of themselves
  • help people achieve their American dreams
  • to treat people with empathy and compassion
  • to forge deep relationships with those around me

This is pretty important stuff.  This is what makes me, me.  These things are way more important that making my home “perfect” or closing my Apple watch rings.  And they are certainly more important that looking at everyone else’s life and opinions on social media.  After making this list, I realized they are my blueprint, my marching orders.  Glennon eloquently states:

Let’s look at what we’ve written and decide that these are not pipe dreams; these are our marching orders. These are the blueprints for our lives, our families, and the world.

May the invisible order become visible.

May our dreams become our plans.

As I continued to read Untamed in my garden, I bid a fond farewell to my list of “should.”  Instead, I’ve committed to my personal blueprint…the one that makes me who I am.  The one the world “should” be thrilled to receive.

Excerpt From


Glennon Doyle

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